I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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