gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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