oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
