Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize