I want to have your abortion
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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