week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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