Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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