I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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