Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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