If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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