He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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