Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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