dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
