just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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