Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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