fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
