I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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