is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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