i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
