I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
