You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize