He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You're like the curious george of whores
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
