I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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