i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
