Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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