we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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