Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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