He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize