I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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