She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
