Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
