I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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