Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
