You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
