saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize