I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
