I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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