Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
