their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
