I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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