I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
