We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
