don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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