Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
