hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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