we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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