I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
