How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
