i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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