i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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