My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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