He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
