Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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