yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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