A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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