I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize