I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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