But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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