I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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