My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
