Your face is a jimmy john
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
