How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
