I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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