with your own penis?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
