17 year olds will be the death of me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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